Dr. Laura Quotes

No one was ever loved for being correct, you are loved for being kind and caring.
You don’t need to learn how to fail, you need to learn how to survive failure.
An opinion is not a command.
You diminish life if you treat it like a job.
Feelings have no IQ. Don’t make decisions based on feelings, make them using your brain.
You have to be truthful about why you are dissatisfied.
What is wonderful about one’s life is that you have the power to design it yourself.
You can guide your emotions with your thought.
We don’t try around here, we commit and do things.
Pay attention to small things and show appreciation.
Talk less and listen more to teenagers.
Don’t give out of proportion to what you are getting.
Nothing is going to change until you do something different.
There is no life without suffering
You’re going to be fine, just not now
Confusion prevents you from looking at the truth, it is an escape mechanism
To get along with people, be humble. Surely Jesus dealt with pissy people
Everything that is true, that you feel – need not be said. Be humble
If worry had protective value, I’d recommend it
A “faith” is a leap, it’s not a fact, it’s a leap that people describe that their soul takes because then they are not alone, and then there is a constancy, the ritual, there is a constancy that brings calm and peace and hope, but it doesn’t guarantee a good outcome.
Don’t forgive him, just ignore him
When you are dating someone, observe how they live their life and decide whether you want to live the next 40 years with this person.
You have a conversation, you don’t just get “stunned.”
Some relationships you just have to “manage”, you don’t “survive” and “fix” them.
In life we must accept what we can’t have or can’t control and have peace.
You should give more to your relationship than what you are lacking
[for people in late teens or early 20’s] Mistakes you make are because you were impulsive, because you want to be comfortable at the moment, and sometimes comfortable at the moment is very hard to repair down the line. Your decisions are not wise because they are mostly based on being comfortable at the moment, not wisdom. Which is understandable because wisdom does not come with a birthday party. It is not as though one turns 18 or 21 and one has wisdom suddenly endowed somehow, miraculously appears. And that’s where your elders, for you folks in your late teens and early 20’s, your elders need to be your resource. What would be wise right now? Not comfortable – but wise. And it’s very hard for youngish people to be willing to be uncomfortable. That’s why they spend so much time on social media, partying, and drugs – because they don’t want to feel uncomfortable.
Don’t say, “I just…,” it’ll just take you backwards.
That was then and this is now.
Often we have to put our feelings aside to behave properly and to build something more positive. We have to do that all the time with kids, with people we work with, with neighbors, with family.
When people say, “No offense, but…,” what they typically mean is, “you’re going to be offended and I’m going to do it anyway.” That’s not nice!
Kids learn quickly which emotions get them what they want, so parents have to learn how to ride out the kid’s emotions.
Hold on to blessings.
Don’t measure what you are going to do based on how somebody else will react.
08-16-2022 (7 min), Living in the past, children
The measure of your life: Does your being alive benefit another human being?
Once you become an adult, you have to satisfy your own set of values. You can't let your life go to hell because you didn't get what you thought you needed and should have gotten and then you think you are worthless and do stupid stuff.
Stop putting quarters in the machine and pulling the arm.
People don't grow apart, they let go.
Whoever cares the most should do it, not have the other person do it and then bitch about it.
If a bird lands on your head you don't have to let it make a nest.
You need to stop going through life imagining how people ought to respond and just watch how they do respond.
We don't have children to make the responsible for our happiness.
For a successful marriage, notice the small things and show appreciation.
Being able to accept the consequences of a deal is part of being an adult. Whining about it and manipulating out of it is being a kid.
When we are suffering the pain of something, saying, “it’s fine” doesn’t make the pain less and it doesn’t make us cable of facing it. The minute we stop telling ourselves the truth we lose the power to make things better.
Acceptance is easy – this is as good as it gets and I’m not going to fight it any more.
Stop whining about your emotions – it just drags you back.
If someone says to you, “…if that’s what you heard/saw/experienced”, they are saying, “fuck you!” (something is wrong with this quote, I may not have written it down correctly).
[What one would want to be able to say in a marriage] I’m fortunate at this point in my life that my burdens are shared.
The best apology is to change your behavior.
If you want to help your kids develop a better attitude and activate the part of their brain that appreciates hard effort – the don’t reward achievement, reward effort.
Everybody is shitty sometimes.
It’s easier to have the love of your life you don’t have to live with.
You can’t avoid learning something because it is uncomfortable.
Don’t be a bystander and then bitch.
Never get into the mud with a pig, they will always win.
The four requirements for forgiveness: (1) truly taking responsibility for what was done, (2) true remorse for pain you caused the other person, (3) don’t repeat action, (4) trying to repair the damage.
It doesn’t matter how you feel. You have an IQ that should supersede your feelings.
People who learn how to manage their need to be satisfied at the moment will be more successful in their careers, relationships, health, finances, and life in general. You can thrive better if you’ve learned to delay gratification.
The human condition is that some days will suck.
Anxiety is a part of life – you deal with it.
At the end of the day, is your kid kind, caring, and compassionate or self-involved and competitive only? If you kid is compassionate, it changes the lives of other kids. Your kid being smart and competitive doesn’t change the lives of other kids in a positive way. It just makes them good at sports or popular.
I don’t believe in the phrase, “purpose on earth.” You think God put a tag on your underwear, “this is what you are supposed to do”? I mean where do you think that purpose comes from?
Do you want to solve the problem or win the fight?
A gift is something sacred. Somebody gave that to you because they cared enough about you to spend the money, the time, and present something to you that they hoped would make you feel good. The value of the gift is not the gift. The value of the gift is in the feelings and the intention of the person who gave it to you...It isn't about the gift, it is about people.
Sometimes we know things but we are so emotionally embroiled that it is hard to accept what we actually do know.
They hurt you, I'd rather you not use the memory of that to hurt yourself.
Instead of trying to be the best, be kind. If you are "best", you'll be remembered in people's heads. If you are kind you'll be remembered in their hearts.
There is no hope, there are only decisions. Hope is from the outside, providing something for you. You don't have a fairy god-mother – no matter how many Disney movies you watched. You make choices and choices lead you to the grave, happiness, or anywhere in between. They are all your choices, but there are consequences for every choice you make. And a lot of them lead to losing peoples’ respect and having a quality of life you will regret. But, ultimately, there is no hoping. I’m counting on you to put yourself 20 years in the future looking back at these next 10 years and deciding how you want to end up. So, that is your assignment.
You have to take responsibility for your own behavior.
Early dating is just icing - you don't know anything about the cake. When you are needy, you lose all objectivity.
People tend to make everything, discomfort, anxiety, an "illness". Being anxious in situations which typically cause anxiety, is not an illness. So many time people want to not feel anything negative. It is very difficult to avoid feeling anything negative and be alive. Everything from gas pains to being upset to being in a situation that is precarious – it is a part of life. Anxiety is a part of life. Anxiety is a part of anticipation. Sometimes that keeps you on your toes. So, if we got rid of all anxiety, you would not be spending much time anticipating things and therefore not prepared. Not good.
Remember, you don't protect your kids, you teach them how to deal with life because life is full of shit and disappointment.
Your job is not to analyze it or judge it, you job is to dodge it.
Once you are overwhelmed with that amount of negativity, there is very little opportunity to come back from it.
No matter how a person ended up in a hole, no matter whether they tripped, were tricked, or they were thrown in, they have to climb out on their own. People with good hearts, who get in the way of that and keep throwing in ropes and elevators, whatever - don't help them.
The number 1 quality one needs for a successful relationship and will portend good things about a relationship is a quality very few people seem to massage into place: the ability to manage your needs, your desires, and your wants with his or hers needs, desires, and wants, simultaneously, not one at a time.
Dating is to discern whether you're a match - it is not to make sure you marry someone.
"Its not like that at first?" Do you think people put their shittiest foot forward when they first meet?"
Acceptance means only that you stop fighting it. You get up in the morning and say, "This is really sad and I"m going to go to the beach and have a good day, bake some bread, walk the dog, whatever." That is what acceptance means.
"You don't want to suffer?" People who are unwilling to suffer will never change. All change includes suffering. Self-doubt, fears, loneliness, anxiety, worries, challenges.
It is absurd to stay in a situation where you hold on to resentments instead of committing to tomorrow.
You don't "try" to do something. "Trying" leaves an exit door, "do it" doesn't.
Never try to convince people of something that you feel firmly you are going to do in spite of their reaction. You don't try to convince them - you inform them.
The majic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
Relationships work when each person has consideration of the other - not of themselves. And, when two people do that, you have a relationship.
Life has many sucky moments and the most important thing we teach our kids is how to survive it.
Parents who are highly educated often only see the world through that level of accomplishment. They get really freaked out if their kid wants to be a bus stop monitor - put them down, get irritated, have them see therapists, punish them. A lot of parents think about the kid filling their resume instead of letting the kid decide what they want to do, what fills their soul. You get these kids in specialized programs when the are 4 years old! Please, let the kid emerge, like a butterfly, see what their own colors are, what plants they like best, etc. You brought them into this world to discover their place in the world, not for you to design their place in the world. And, if you are disappointed because they are not following your path or the path you think they ought to and have been training for - then you are hurting yourself and your kid because if daddy/mommy is very disappointed, the depression level of the kid is just going to rise and they are probably going to accomplish much less than even they want to.
Feelings are important - but to be the sole basis for making a decision - NO! They cloud judgement, they lead to impulsive actions, they distort our preception of reality often causing us to make irrational choices we are probably going to regret later. Feelings have no IQ. Feelings are not based in reality - they are based on our inner world. Feeling are usually self-oriented - we are responding with our feelings because of an impact on ourselves which usually eliminates the whole notion that there is a 2nd and 3rd party out there.
Many people say, "I feel guilty about ..." and almost always they are using the word, guilt improperly, and it holds them back from seeing the truth. Guilt is when you have done something illegal, immoral, or unethical - nothing else.
Only good people feel true guilt which involves remorse.
When we operate from "need", we do foolish things like ignore because, "we just want it." You can't operate from need, you must operate from "want."
Only worry about the opinon of people you respect. Everyone else gets a, "So what."
It's very difficult to have everything you want at the same time - and choosing one thing means you do have to leave other things behind.
The only irresistible impulse is the one not resisted, meaning the irresistibility is not outside you - it is you
It is harder to do stupid things if you say them out loud to yourself.
Hope is postponed disappointment.
Parents, your job is to become obsolete.
People are accountable no matter what, and if you accept your accountability, it is a burden off your shoulders because you don't have to be defensive any more because you've let it go. You've acknowledged, "I hurt people, I didn't mean to."
If you did a really good job as a parent, your kids will need you less and less.
It is not a matter of balance, it is a matter of choices.
You should always compliment kids on effort. Be supportive of the process, not the result.
You don't have to fix being uncomfortable. You can endure being uncomfortable...you've got to learn to be uncomfortable in life.